wadufxup ... out of the country ... ?

so i gotta phone call today that sounded really really promising & im at a crossroads.
im gonna go about it from a positive prospective & say that me & bae have a chance to spend 3 days & 2 nites somewhere of our choice from 20 different locations including Miami, Orlando, Vegas, Puerto Rico, etc. sounds good rite? we have up to 18 months to take advantage of this offer. i dont wanna say how i came across this opportunity because i dont want anyone to abuse it. its not secretive but i know how some people will do anything to get a freebie.
so my question is, do i take advantage of this NOW? or do i wait? like, i wanna go but i know sometimes its best to wait for a relationship to grow before going out and doing something like this. but how do we grow if we dont test waters? getting away for a couple days will do just that. if we dont work out, we'll have memories lol and if we do work out... we'll still have memories.
okay... maybe im not at a crossroads. lol
wait, yes i am because i dont know how our parents will react to this... we havent been together a year yet, but if this trip is gonna take place, i wanna do it ASAP. im fucking excited beyond measure... watch, ill show you... lol
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !
lmao! pray for me, cause im crazy lol

wadufxup ... just let the woman live.

so i believe everyone has seen the new Window Seat video. personally, i love it. its raw. to the point. she's beautiful & not to mention phat ass hell (no homo). like, i kno i had no idea she was packin like such so yeah, even as a female, i was caught off guard for a little bit. but beyond her thickness, the message behind her video was great. she literally stripped herself down to just her. the body she was given. nothing added to hender her growth, just her & the world around her. its like, she opened herself to growth. hence her lyrics, "dont want nobody next to me. i want a chance to fly, a chance to cry, and a long bye bye." they say the best way to listen to "you" is to be alone, to be at peace with self, and get rid of all the outside things that will keep you from hearing wat the "inner you" has to say to you. so for her to say she wants a window seat, makes perfect sense.
in the video she srips down of everything, then she's shot. she's talks about how she needs to get away. wat do people usually say when they want to get away from everything? they want to be in their "own little world", which is wat Erykah is saying. she wants to get away, to follow her own heart, to listen to herself think, to be her own guide. but at the same time, in my opinion, "i need your attention. i need you next me. i need someone to clap for me. i need your direction, somebody say come back." is her talkin to a higher being. i say higher being because i'm not sure if its God she talks to or not. all in all, i strongly believe i have a slight understanding of what she's saying.
now with the correlation to JFK being assassinated, i believe i have it. i remember reading that JFK did not agree with the NWO that the other presidents were in line with. he didnt want to be apart of the Illuminati & all the other secret society jive thats going on with our government... but im gonna possibly save that for another post. but being that JFK was in opposition with something that had been going on for years before him, wat happened? he was assassinated. assassinated for standing on his own two feet & saying no to something he didnt agree with & didnt want to pull across other people. assassinated for thinking with his own mind. assassinated for believing in something that others didnt, no matter the pressure. and wat was erykah talking about? how she wanted to get away & think on her own, etc. at the end of the video, she is shown being assassinated because she as an individual is not aceppted. hence, all te ngativity feeding from the premier of the video. it should be no arguement that this video is the naked truth & makes sense if you try to see it from her point of view. so the correlation makes perfect sense to me & i salute her for being the bold individual she is & going outside of the box to portray what she believes in to the world.

wadufxup ... where the GOOD music at?

you know how music used to allow you to just, zone the fuck out, all by itself? i cant even get that no more...
im sittin here listening to lauryn hill & its like... why shit like this aint playin on the radio? its so bad in the music industry that i dont even think i want my kids to hear radio shit til they get in high school. i want the most crucial time of their learning years to be influenced by otis redding, al green, michael jackson, lauryn hill, jill scott, anthony hamilton, etc.
the music that you can play wit a gramma witout her frowin at you. the type music you play at your wedding and everybody knows ALLLL the words.
i want my kids to grow up and know how to appreciate jazz music. i said something about Boney James the other day to this dude & he had the audacity to say, "you dont look like the type to like Bone Thugs in Harmony, mama." i wish i could've slapped him & his damn mama for that shit. smh.
i'm so violent-minded sometimes... thats why i need REAL music to relax my spirit. yeah, i could listen to gospel music for all that but gospel music makes me cry lol. i dont always want my spirit touched, i just need it to be relaxed. sometimes it helps listening to D'Angelo ask "how does it feel" lol because that shit sooooooothes my mind from school & all the other bullshit goin on in this world.
"if i ruled the world, i'd free all my sons..." music that makes you THINK! music that leaves you contemplatin, "wat would i do if i ruled the world..." & actually have you thinkin of something productive. not that "i'd make weed legal" shit either. ugh.
how the hell is a nigga gone grow & live out his full potential listening to Waka Flaka Flame? this nigga aint even creative wit his damn name, but he got his voice comin out of yo car speakers... shakinmyfuckinheadatyudummies.
i just wish there was better music to listen to. simple as that. moral to my blog. theEND.

no responsibility ... wadufxup?

i hate when people take the easy way out to solve problems. wat the hell are you going to do when you're out on your own & shit starts falling apart?
when the landlord comes & places that eviction notice on your front door, are you gonna say, "i aint got time for this shit" & keep living there? lmaooo! nigga please. get yo life in order. they will run up in yo house while you out at the club on a friday night & put yo shit on the curb. & when it happens, i hope its hurricane season.
its like, people dont want to own up to their responsibilities & handle theirs. oh, but we so grown. we got this. we got that. cant nobody see me. im doin better than yu on a bad day. *blank face* getdafuckouttahea. i be wantin to slap the facial hair off niggas when they say that shit... especially when i kno wat really goes on wit em behind closed doors. smh.
& the same thing goes for females too. yu got time to be all on the internet going thru people's business, gossipin and shit when you dont even have YO shit in order. & if they aint doin that, they walkin round lookin for a nigga to take care of them. "shit, im bout to tell that nigga so-and-so to buy this for me." wat the fuck for? yu gone be so used to askin a nigga to do this, that, and the third yu aint gone kno how to hold yo own cause you aint never had to do it before. yu all thrill me wit the nonsense yu display everyday. smh.
i need to kno where all the people who pay they bills on time, have their priorities in order, and dont put all their business out in the street are at cause im so tired of seein these damn bums in the making walkin around. geeeeeez.

disappointment... wadufxup.

why is it so easy for people to be so damn unreliable...
seriously, people blow my life. if i had a nickel for every time someone said they'd do something for me & it didnt happen, i'd have my tuition for the next 3 years paid for, & thats including my meal plan. AND if i had a dime for every time i had to go out & do something on my own & somebody said, "why didnt you tell me? i wouldve..." bitch, have a seat. i'd have Tyler Perry money right about now.
now that i think about it, im really about to start chargin niggas for this shit. i'd be rich.
i've been spoiled just about ALLLLL my life. if i asked mommy for it & she said no, daddy'd say yes. when i asked daddy for something & he said no, mommy'd say yes. & if them two bums said no, somebody else would say yes lol so no matter what happens, i somehow find a way to get wat i need/want. but not everybody looks out like that, & i found that out the hard way.
so, understand when something doesn't go my way & im not understanding whythefucknot, yeaaaaah nigga! imma be bitter. imma bitch. imma whine. imma act like you are the scum of the Earth. deal wit it. thats how i roll lol.
no, im not sayin thats how i should act but thats wat happens. ill compromise with reason, but yu gotta let me kno something. if yu dont want to, let me kno. ill do it my damn self. if you cant, let me kno. ill find a way to make it happen. if yu just dont give a fuck, shiiiit... let me kno so i can stop giving a fuck about yu & yours too.
& i wish dumbfucks would stop actin like their are a necessity. niggachild, you are an option & an option ONLY. i dont need yu survive, yu are not Jesus. believe that.
i can hold my own, im just the type to use people in my favor because people are always asking me to do shit for them. & no thats not me sayin im a necessity to anybody else because i dont carry it that way. i just know that people come to me for shit, so its my way of lending a hand & then taking your hand & using it for my purposes in return. lol that sounds like a sexual innuendo but wateva.

wadufxup... 8 years tho... lol

so im not gonna state any names cause im still trynna figure some things out but
am i the only one who wonders what God has planned?
i mean, i've known this dude since i was little & here we are
grown as eva & we're just talking about feelings...
BUT 8 YEARS THOUGH? like seriously, eight? why did it take so long?
at first thats what i kept asking, over and over and over and over again.
but shiiiit, i used to play games. i had a nigga mentality when it came to relationships cause i was determined he was gone get hurt before i ever would; so maybe thats why it took 8 years... because at this point, he dont need nobody playing games with his emotions and im at the point where the games take too much energy, so why even bother? but like, there was no doubt in my mind that if i had the opportunity i'd talk to him; even after all these years. we hadnt talked, seen each other, NOTHING. and then out the blue, here he is texting me this, that, and the third and i was falling for it. not saying im dumb for it because he's sincere but its just like, am i getting my hopes up about something thats just temporary? i dont wanna look back 10 years from now and say "i finally had him." and thats it. i want to be with him 10 years from now looking back to when we got together. but hey! whatever the Lord has planned i will be happy with but these are my emotions tho.
& it didnt take long for the ily's to start so its just like ... damn.
i hope it lasts. its some shit he do i cant stand. and its prolly some shit i do he cant stand but we aint saying nothing yet.
but the thing that pulled me was when i told him about my attitude, he asked me to talk to him about anything i was upset about instead of saying fuck it and going on about my business. and how he told me he lost me once and he wasnt gonna lose me again... ahhh damn. either he running some smooth ass game or this is just the one im supposed to be with. but at the moment, imma choose the first option and try to stay as happy as possible. lol.
im no dummy but hey! yu only live once and that time is limited so do things in the spur of the moment. carry no regrets. stay happy. cause 8 years from now, it may be all worth the wait.

wadufxup... where are all the gentlemen?

so today, my buddy korey comes over to see me before he goes to new york and all... & i was really glad to see him.
korey knows i like him, and he knows i like him but today, he became a friend because of his actions.
when i first met korey im like, "ahh, he's alright." nothing really spectacular until he introduced himself.
"hi, how are you? my names korey & its a pleasure meeting you."
WHAT?
i was so shocked all i could do was smile; he immediately went from alright to cute. then he was talking to me about different things and he was so polite. then the way he put his hand on my back to move me out of the way was the best.
i mean other than the fact that when someone touches my lower back i get weak, but it was more of a kind gesture to move me out of harms way & THAT was what made me dizzy lol.
long story short, i wanted to give him my number 3 hours before he even asked for it. then one day he text me out the blue and we were talking about philosophy & psychology so im just like.... WoooooW!
it was amazing.
if yu see him... nah, i dont want nobody to see him. he's not even my man and im being selfish... lmao
but his swag is ridiculous. his maturity is remarkable.
his dreads are gorgeous. his smile is immaculate.
he's just a work of art. but, he's my friend.
and seeing him today, lifted my spirits because he's so cool
other than him joking the way i talk.
i mean, i know i can be country sometimes but damn. dont bring it to my attention all the time. but seeing him smile, made me get over it a whole lot faster.
and he kinda crossed the line by drinking my soda but it was flat so i didnt care; thats exactly what he gets... his fine ass.
yeah, he went from alright, to cute, to fine ass.
but trust me, its more than looks & clothes; he's beautiful inside and out.
& his tattoos... ahhhh! great God. they are wonderful. lol
thats enough cause ummmmm, he's just my friend.

but he's a gentleman. thats the moral of the story.
he's a rare catch. he should teach an etiquette class.