Thursday, July 16, 2009

wadufxup... 8 years tho... lol

so im not gonna state any names cause im still trynna figure some things out but
am i the only one who wonders what God has planned?
i mean, i've known this dude since i was little & here we are
grown as eva & we're just talking about feelings...
BUT 8 YEARS THOUGH? like seriously, eight? why did it take so long?
at first thats what i kept asking, over and over and over and over again.
but shiiiit, i used to play games. i had a nigga mentality when it came to relationships cause i was determined he was gone get hurt before i ever would; so maybe thats why it took 8 years... because at this point, he dont need nobody playing games with his emotions and im at the point where the games take too much energy, so why even bother? but like, there was no doubt in my mind that if i had the opportunity i'd talk to him; even after all these years. we hadnt talked, seen each other, NOTHING. and then out the blue, here he is texting me this, that, and the third and i was falling for it. not saying im dumb for it because he's sincere but its just like, am i getting my hopes up about something thats just temporary? i dont wanna look back 10 years from now and say "i finally had him." and thats it. i want to be with him 10 years from now looking back to when we got together. but hey! whatever the Lord has planned i will be happy with but these are my emotions tho.
& it didnt take long for the ily's to start so its just like ... damn.
i hope it lasts. its some shit he do i cant stand. and its prolly some shit i do he cant stand but we aint saying nothing yet.
but the thing that pulled me was when i told him about my attitude, he asked me to talk to him about anything i was upset about instead of saying fuck it and going on about my business. and how he told me he lost me once and he wasnt gonna lose me again... ahhh damn. either he running some smooth ass game or this is just the one im supposed to be with. but at the moment, imma choose the first option and try to stay as happy as possible. lol.
im no dummy but hey! yu only live once and that time is limited so do things in the spur of the moment. carry no regrets. stay happy. cause 8 years from now, it may be all worth the wait.

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